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Uh, no. You know, people tell me all the time, it's so hard to be a Christian pastor, and I'll say, amen. I know, but, you know, it's even If you ask people who don't reason they don't believe in If you ask people who believe in God when they grew most in their faith, they'll tell you suffering. And this woman came and I'm in a wheelchair and people are talking to me and visiting, and she's gently washing my feet like the simple expressions of love. We don't have to. You don't have to be a You don't have to have the right Just show up. Yeah. Hey, welcome to the source cast. My name is Elijah Greiner. I'm one of the hosts of this podcast, and we are so grateful that you're tuning in with us today. Early on, we made a promise that release a new episode. We have kept that promise. We're going to keep that promise goal that we would bring you the would bless you, that would help journey with Christ. That's why we call it the source cast, because it gets a little saucy. I felt like a dad joke, but we're just going to keep rolling with it. All right. Hey, would you do us a favor before we jump into the podcast today? Would you subscribe to the And if you find this content And then would you do one thing, Would you share this with your friends, with your family members? Whoever needs this, would you share it with them, those on the journey with you, share it with them so that they can also be blessed by what we bring to you today. We know it's going to bless you. We know it's going to help you. Alright, let's jump in today. All right. Hey today. What a treat to have my friend here partner in preaching the gospel to people here in New Bedford. I got Pastor Brian with us from It's great to be here with you, Oh, man, it's so good to have We've been talking about doing I know, I know, time goes by I know, and it's been how many hundred and fifty eight days. Who's who's counting? Yeah, no, it's, uh, November nineteenth of twenty twenty three was when I was rushed to the emergency room when everything began. For, for, for those who don't Right. Walk us through what happened. Yeah. So, um, you know, it's kind of So I had a cold that turned into Um, as I get older, you know, be a week or, you know, so it like a bronchitis. I had a little bit of sinusitis. And so it started as a And then, you know, two or three weeks, I was not feeling so good. And, you know, I thought they tell you don't take too many antibiotics. And I thought, well, it's going I was supposed to go on I figured if I come back, I'm I'll go. So I get back from vacation. Now it's a month. I've been these symptoms and then I start having my fingertips. I start feeling, uh, pins and And so that was kind of awkward. So I go to the emergency room and I'm like, you know, something's wrong. They do some tests. Give me antibiotics. Send me home. My face starts drooping. I'm having trouble swallowing So now I'm like, okay. My wife said you might be having I thought it was stupid. I don't want to scare her. So no, no, it's you know, it And so I went back to the E.R. and, uh, and they did some tests. They did a CT scan, ruled out a And I say this whenever I tell a important because, uh, they, They had given me the discharge I had called my wife. They had said, you know, just Maybe you're dehydrated, go And sitting in the E.R., um, I my arm up. And then I got up to walk, and I had trouble holding my head up and I didn't know what was happening. But I told the doctors, I said, I said, guys, listen, something's really wrong with me here. You're missing something. And you know, doctors are They don't see everything, We know our own body. And the reason I say that is know, we, um, we, uh, we've done We can send you by ambulance to And they did it when I arrived eight minutes, my throat was I was in a room with two I couldn't communicate, and they told me they had to intubate and put me on a ventilator because I was essentially drowning on my own saliva. I couldn't swallow. And and so they had said after, up and they sent me home, I Um, but after a few days in the neuro ICU, uh, they diagnosed me with Guillain-Barré syndrome, which is a very rare autoimmune disease. And essentially your body, uh, it was a cold, but your body And so that's what happened. And I had a very rare and very severe case of that, uh, which led to, you know, twenty days in the ICU and twelve on life support and, you know, man, that's wild. It's crazy because it was like, Like it was not, you know, it was, you know, it was not anything that I could have anticipated. It went, you know. I remember sitting there in the, in the ICU with all the machines and thinking like, how like twenty four hours ago, I had a cold. How did this happen? You know? That is wild, man. Yeah. So so that happens. Like when did it hit? Like, oh my gosh, like something more is happening to me right now. Yeah. I mean, so when, when I was in and they were going to intubate of course, during Covid, that's intubate, it's real bad. So that was kind of in my brain when they said, we have to intubate. I thought, you know, what is And, and I think I shared this I prayed at that moment, like, at the time. I'm fifty two now. But I remember thinking like, Lord, I kind of thought I would have more time, like fifty years. You know, this is it. And I prayed and I said, you know, Lord, I, I got wife and kids. I got a ministry, a life I love. But at the same time, it's your And, uh, and I don't, I don't want to die, but, uh, but in that moment, I prayed, I really a prayer of gratitude and said, Lord, if this is it and you're going to take me, I'm grateful, uh, for you rescuing me from addiction, for the life you've given me, for the family and friends. I'm my. I want my last prayer on earth you are and what you've done. And, uh. And I didn't know if I'd open my And all I saw was, you know, anything happens to me and. And I'm going to be okay. Yeah. And then I opened my eyes. And the first time I opened my in an MRI machine. I don't think I was supposed to And that was when I realized of fitting, you know, out. And I opened my eyes and I realized I can only open my right eye, but I realized, okay, I'm alive. So that's a good sign. I survived the but I can't move. And this was, you know, earlier So it wasn't until three days later I figured out what was wrong with Guillain-Barré syndrome. So it was, uh, it was a scary And yet, um, I sort of at every was like, okay, well, I'm So I choose to be grateful that And at every moment I found Even when, you know, initially there's paranoia and there's fear. And I thought I had the sense of It was just the Holy Spirit to that road of of fear and And rather than that, just pray and ask for God's power and presence. And so that's what I did. And, and you know, we know We walk with Jesus. He takes us through things. And just when you think you can't go deeper, he takes you deeper. And that was that. You know, it still is that man. And and that process, right? Of being basically paralyzed, but knowing that everything's going. You can know, you know, Everything. Yeah. Right. How long was was you in that So it was about, um, three months before I could, I could even. They had to actually put me on a Um, so it was about probably, uh, six months before I could walk. Um, but I was, I was, I could eye for a couple of months. And then slowly I would start to So I spent six months another year plus of, of speech therapy and, um, you exercise and things like that. But it was a significant amount And I mean, it was, you know, if Then I was stuck like that until Like there was no it was it was crazy to be trapped in your own body. And to your point, I was, if was going on, I couldn't speak. Um, all I could do is kind of And so I had sort of an everything around me. And it was, yeah, yeah, it's It's really hard. Even as I say it, it's hard to Right, right. And as I'm asking these questions, that's what I'm trying to, to somehow put myself there. But it's impossible. Yeah. You know. Yeah. What would you say again, knowing Jesus, but what would you say was like some of your biggest obstacles might in your mind? I would think, yeah, it's funny because just the other day I was getting frustrated with something. And then, you know, I'm still I write, I can't type, you know, So I still have limitations and somehow I'll get like a little frustrated now. But then I'll see a video. I'll look back to where I was and honestly, like God gave me fight. He gave me his spirit. He gave me because I remember remember being in a wheelchair heel and pull myself. And they'd say, all right, we And I'd say, I'm going to go I just had this like, no, I'm I'm like, if I'm not dead, I'm And so that was it. And that was so I had now there were days I got frustrated in the hospital. I mean, you know, the healthcare system, although it's great this, you know, until you're hospitalized for six months, you don't realize. And, and so there were But at the same time, I was not And and that is all Jesus. And I can't imagine, uh, not, you know, people tell me all the time, it's so hard to be a Christian pastor and I'll say, Amen. I know, but you know, it's even Be one. Yeah, man. So good. You know, I mean, and to have And again, I'm an addiction guy. So I walk with Jesus through some dark times and he rescued me. And I already lived in Yeah. But there's a whole nother a So, so let's talk about that. Like, what would you say were some of the deepest things that Jesus was doing through this process? Oh, man, it's, it's, uh, so could give you countless So it so happened that my daughter was in school for speech pathology, and it so happened that she graduated a semester early. So my daughter, when I, when they were asking me questions and I would try to blink, my daughter said, well, dad, why don't you put your foot up and down for yes and side to side for no. Which was like, well, now I can say now that's communication. Then my daughter happens to be driving to see me at the Rhode Island Hospital. I was hospitalized for six My wife and my daughter were Every single day. She's driving up to see me and letterboard, which was a board And she says, dad, this is what we're going to do if we get the right row. You put your foot, that's the And I shared that before, but so So immediately, one of the first out with my foot, I'm closer to And, and I said to my wife, I said sermon notes and I still have it. I still have a picture. And it was don't be afraid of me because when everybody was a lot of activity. Eight hours, doctors, nurses at I was I was in the dark in every And, and, you know, so I was halfway through my doctorate when this happened and my focus was on apologetics, which is, you know, defense of God's existence. The biggest obstacle intellectually and experientially is human suffering. I was reading about human suffering and the goodness of God. There was a book open on my desk Wow. So I thought, okay, God, what So I'm in this place and I, and I write don't Be Afraid of the dark. Because in those moments, is rough, I begin to realize I'm to leave and I'm going to have just me and him. I've been praying like I've the presence of God. Yeah. And I, I, I started to look And then I would say the next thing I said was, listen, because because I couldn't speak. I mean, I'm, I'm a, I'm a I'm a monologue guy. So because I couldn't speak when people were talking to me, I wasn't thinking what I was going to say. I was just listening. I was just looking at him and I Right. Don't be afraid of the dark. Uh, The living water. That was the other one I I was I was so thirsty. I think of, uh. Jacob and Esau selling his I was so thirsty for water. My throat was covered with a So they had, you know, I was breathing through my neck on a ventilator. And even if they put it on my lips, it couldn't go in my throat. It was all I could think about. If you were just said to me, hey, you're going to be like this forever. I'll give you a sip of water. I would have taken it, I mean. And I thought if I, if I the living water. So all in all, these things like, you know, as fast as the word messages to us first, right, right. And we, we share from the overflow of what God's done in us. And God just really did so much. Keeps doing so much, man. So good. And it's interesting that you're doing your doctorate in apologetics, right? Yeah. Yeah. In dealing with the suffering. Right. Which is one of the biggest Right. Yeah. So what would you say now that How is that part of your Yeah, I think John Ortberg, I you ask people who don't believe they don't believe in God, If you ask people who believe in God when they grew most in their faith, they'll tell you suffering. So, um, you know, one of the brothers here just mentioned James, right? Consider it pure joy when you There's not a period there because the trials produce in us the character of Jesus humility, dependence. So I'm, you know, I think I'm a I'm task oriented. I want to get stuff done. So to be able to seemingly not be productive and have to focus exclusively on the inner life, I mean, all I had was my thoughts and it was so needed, like almost like my experience with my addiction and ended up in Teen Challenge. It was the worst thing to ever to ever happen to me. This illness was the worst thing I wouldn't if somebody said you could skip those two years, I would. I wouldn't do that. I've learned more. So I think, um, gratitude, I mean, if you're alive, if you're breathing in lungs, if you know Jesus, how can you not be grateful? Yeah. Right. I mean, how can you not? Absolutely. What would you say about those Did you have days where you felt like, man, this is too much, too unbearable? Did you have any dark nights of Yeah. So I had, like I said, especially at night and especially, you know, the first couple nights I was so, you know, I was, I didn't know, I didn't know the long term prognosis was in, you know, and I think you mentioned before, you know, could you hear and you're aware and, you know, I don't I don't hold this against the guy. But when I write the book, I'm because there was a young doctor guy, I but he was right outside the nurse and he was about to Now I can't move at all. I'm completely paralyzed. And I hear him say. But we can't tell him that. And then they walk in the room it you're not telling me? AM I going to be like this Like it caused me so much fear And now he he probably was. Didn't want to tell. Maybe the prognosis, I don't But because I couldn't move, I point I typed out in the thing I mother I'm as sharp as ever Are you okay? Do you understand what's I'm like, man, I understand more all I got is my wits about me. Yeah. But, uh, so there were dark There were times of, of, um, but they were, they were moments that quickly were enveloped by God's love where I just submitted those to him and said, and really the first phrase was like, God, like either in your mercy. Take my life like please. Or I need you to cover me with your presence like I've never experienced. Yeah. Um, my wife, who I mentioned was every single day we got to the point. At one point she would say to said at first she said, I'll be And I look at her and every, you know, we start doing this every night. I said, honey, I'll be okay if Yeah, I can do this if I know do this, but I can't do it. Like. And we would say that every night to each other and to have been together thirty eight years or something like that, but to have that level of, uh, in every relationship, right? I'm closer to Jesus than I've ever been close to my wife, my kids, my church, and my ministry is more effective than I've ever been. Isn't that the metric? Right? Isn't that what we're all hoping So it's like we can't say, well, God, that's what I want, but my way. Yeah, I mean, I think I think the Christian life has really found the heart of the Christian life. Is Jesus praying Gethsemane, Is take this cup from me. Change the situation. It's okay. Predator prey. Sometimes he does. Often. But I think the second part of But not my will, Lord. Not my will. Lord, your will be done. And that's where I think is real And that's where in those oh, you're so strong. I'm not at all. No, I'm I am the opposite of But what I found is just like weak, he is strong. Yeah. And, and so that we, we're so be fully dependent. Like we're not called to be We're called to be submitted And when we when life takes us to that place, we can learn a lot. Suffering is a great teacher It's probably the best teacher. Yeah. Going back to what the doctor The prognosis. Yeah. Talk about it from from the disease itself, right? What what was there saying? Because I remember coming and seeing you and you were in rough shape. Yeah. You know, and to see you now, and I'm just like, man, like Yeah. Even a year ago, I think it was twentieth, when I shared here. Yeah. And I could, I could hardly move Right. It was. Yeah. So the, so the doctors told me eventually when they said, you know, you have Guillain-Barre syndrome, it's a very rare variant usually that starts with people's feet. So typically the way that out of bed and they'll lose And so, so it is a very rare with my hands and face. So again, to the doctor's, it's not something they see, but um, you have um, myelin sheaths they're called, and they're basically sheaths that protect the nerves and allow signals to travel from your brain to your body. So those sheaths get damaged. So what happens is you can't And then of course, after months and months, you're fighting atrophy now. So the, the, um, I think the millimeter a day, but of course, So, so you're sitting there and of those things. About twenty percent of cases fatal for the fact that they Either their lungs get to breathe, or often times when pneumonias are very high risk. Um, so from the disease told me I had Guillain-Barré into the room and telling my a long recovery. And I remember them saying like And I remember thinking, well, I did fifteen months in Teen challenge. I can do a year, right? I'm thinking like time. Like, but really it was two and And I'm kind of glad they didn't been a lot. It would have been even more so. You know, but they've been you walk after six months, which was The feel with that is once I months, I still couldn't lift my risk because if I fell, I have So there are all sorts of things you had to sort of navigate through. Um, but, but it's, it's a, it's Most of the time when people get it, they get it to a reaction to a vaccine. You'll see sometimes on TV risk, increased risk of Guillain-Barré syndrome, but it is either a vaccine or a respiratory infection. And it is your body essentially here that shouldn't be, and it And so that's how that works. And the neurologists, you know, I was I kind of said to him, like, look, just tell me the truth. Like I could just, you know, and he said, yeah, your, uh, particular variant, it's the worst I've ever seen or read about. He said, But your recovery has He said so my best prognosis is as you continue to see recovery, you're going to continue to see recovery. If we go a month or two and we might say, you know. So I'm two months in for two have about three years where So after three years, maybe you'll see minor changes, but that's more or less where you are. But if I look where I was even a year ago and I extrapolate that out, you know, then I'm, I'm hoping for God to just fully restore me. But at the same time, I'm You know, I'm praying that but your will be done. And so that's, you know, that's And, and because again, you've some of the things that still is So, well, first of all, I mean, I'm, I'm an IT guy by nature before, before I became a minister, I'm a network engineer. So I've been doing computer work I still do it for thirty years. I can't type at all. I was a fast typer. What happens is right now, these three, these three fingers on either side, I have these, I don't, I can't, I can't lift them. So I can't type, I can't write pencil with these two fingers, So I can't, I can't write. Um, probably the most We had lunch the other day and I but it's very because my tongue difficult for me to chew. So I usually I'll hold a napkin can't really close my mouth and So as far as day to day stuff, that's probably the most difficult is, is to still chew with some paralysis in my mouth, my speech. You can obviously hear what I'm saying, but it's still affected mainly because my top lip is paralyzed. So certain letters, if I stop My my daughter tells me, dad, But you can see that. And then, um, because I don't even though I'm getting strength You know, doing buttons like I My wife had to push these. I can't, I don't have the If I clean my glasses, you know, I hold the thing I can't push down. I got to use my thumb so you You use your fingers all the But there were little things, open my refrigerator door. I'd have to use my feet. I would use my feet to open the My feet were stronger then I And then I was able to do it And then I was able to do it And the same thing with my You know, I couldn't open my I'd use two hands and one. So even now it's like, well, I It doesn't seem like a big deal, mailbox with my left hand. Right. But there are so there are day to day life. I don't I never forget, you in my fingertips. I still have diminished So it almost feels like if you're and you're, you know, you in the water. I don't have any any feeling. And that was a very first So for two and a half years, I've had no, no feeling in my fingertips. But um, the last thing I'll say of people with Guillain-Barre I've been very fortunate. I have pain constantly in my You have nerves here. And there's two sets. One feeds these three fingers, But everything starts here. So every day my wife will put But I have significant pain in And then in the center of my used to it. It's been so long. And it's, you know, on a scale but it's always there. It's never not there. Yeah, man, so much we take for Really? Yeah. There's, uh, yeah, the things think we get caught up on are light of it all. And you know, you hear all the Oh, if you don't have your health, you don't have everything. And then you realize, like, You know, I think we, um, I think we, we, uh, certainly take for granted, um, many of the blessings God has given us, you know? Yeah. What about, um, I know we both suffering right now going just maybe watching this, trying What would you say to those who suffering right now? Yeah. So, you know, I think we comforted by other people, which God designed one of the great blessings in our life to be a relationship. Our spouses, our friends, our But often times I think what we for that one on one with Jesus. And I mean, we say it, we preach but you know, draw near to God You know, God is close to the We say these things, we hear these things, but they are so true. You know, if I had to if they think is the scripture for my would be taste and see that the taste for you. I can tell you how good this is, and I can explain it, and I can show you. But until you taste and see. And I love that David says that because it's really an invitation. We read the Bible, we see brothers and sisters, and we look what God did there, and then look what God, you know is doing it. But it's like, well, no, no, no Yeah. So the greatest encouragement I can give people is really fresh and cry out to God, be honest with him. He knows he's going to be okay. And in those moments, if you, if can't love God. Yeah. You know, the comfort you get. Paul says, right. We comfort others with the I mean, a lot of times in life, Christians are trying to export what they don't, what they don't have. And the world knows that. The world knows when a game is Yeah. People want authenticity, right? Right. What about, um, because as a pastor, right, we, we believe in the principles. We believe in the, in the, in Sometimes we just want someone But from your I'm curious about When you were paralyzed. Right. And people were coming around. Yeah. What were the things that you things they should have done? Yeah. You know, so here's, here's what I'll say because that's an interesting question, because I have a friend of mine and he said, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't go see him and I just didn't want to see you like that. And I said, bro, I love you. That's cool. But you don't come to see me for You come to see me. For me. Yeah. So I think sometimes I don't I don't know what to do. Well, show up. I mean, you don't have to say or I couldn't, I couldn't say much Yeah. But I don't know how many people Um, that would come and sit with me and cry and pray with me and, uh, you know, just just love on me. You know, my arms were, were in and what can I do? And they'd just lift my arm and Just kind of move around because I couldn't or they'd rub, you know, they had different lotions and things that and just that, you know, just, just showing up, loving them. You don't have to, you know, scriptures and pray. I had a woman come and she said, me to wash your feet. And I thought, now, and this is I thought, this is, you know. So I said, okay, well, you know, And she said, I don't care who's And I thought, and this woman people are talking to me and washing my feet like the simple We don't have to. You don't have to be a You don't have to have the right Just show up, pray with me. Let me know you love me. That I'm not alone. That's what we want. Nobody wants to suffer alone, And so those and there were people that I meet with every day. Every day, you know. Um, and so I think too often we role of the Holy Spirit, right? I gotta say the right thing. I gotta do the right thing. I remember a friend of mine shared once, I'll never forget this probably fifteen years ago, but he lost his daughter in a car accident. And, and he had said, you know, is I was going to I was going to take care of my family. And he kind of let me down. Right. And so but this is what he said. He said, up until I lost my dad, God for a version of what I Not in a bad way. Hey, guys, I'm going to go visit This is what you should. And he said, after I lost my God, let me be okay with what And I've never forgot that. I mean, this was years ago. And I thought, isn't that really Isn't that that's a different Absolutely. And, and I think we feel like we I gotta say the right thing. I got to save this person. I got to when I think we just to do what he wants to do. Yeah. Makes me think of job's story, Because his friends were good Oh, yeah. Yeah, even his life. Right? You think if anybody you got your life a curse God and die, right? Hey, thanks, honey. For the support, right? Absolutely. Yeah. And, and and here's one of the to the point we just made. We, we want so, so hard and so bad to grasp something in the physical. And I think God brought job to a place where every physical in his health and his relationships. None of that was going to And what he was left with was And I look at that, and I think that's a beautiful thing for God to love him that much, that he didn't want anything to be a possible substitute for the intimacy. Who's going to promise Joe, And at the end, it wasn't Joe. God is such an extravagant, good here's all your stuff back, Because that's the kind of But that wasn't a blessing on Yeah, the blessing was he grew thought was possible. And I mean, as I've thought of like, sometimes we miss God's doesn't come in the form we Right? Yeah, yeah. And speaking of that, I remember you telling me the story that God even used this to bless other people. Talk about that romantic relationship that developed because. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. My son's gonna like this. This is so funny. So and I'll tell you, it's again, there's so many God stories, but this is an amazing one. So, um, when you're in the time, you know, the doctors you nurses will come in and do they, they don't really. But you spend a lot of time with Yeah. You spend a lot of time one on And so I had this speech therapist and I'm like, I love Emily. I go, so I had this speech her shift would start, she would her keys in her coffee cup. And I could barely and she'd you know, move it. And I can't I cannot was because I was in such pain. My wife would get there at nine I was in such pain that just to She didn't have to do that Very kind, very sweet. She would talk to me. She would encourage me. And so one day she's joking with uh, I saw a picture on Facebook I thought I was your favorite So I said, Facebook, I want you No, she had never met my son. She had never. Now, of course, time goes on. And we had a woman from Haiti, one of the therapists there, and she she said she found out I was a Christian. I was a pastor. She said, can I pray for you, And she would come in and I eyes, and she would be praying bathed in her. It was beautiful. And so my son's visiting one day son and my son walks. He's very tall. And she the Haitian woman, she the marrying kind. She says, this is the guy. So I said, see? Anyways, they've been together Come on. And so I so I said, if you guys get married, I'm a prophet, right? And so God and, and several of the caregivers actually attend church now. Oh. Come on. Um, you know, God has it's a I I know God uses everything we the impact it's had on, on God always working. I was called not long ago by She said, there's a woman here she said, and, um, I told her come pray with her. And incidentally, the way this happened when Emily was telling this woman about me, there was a girl standing there, her daughter, and she said, wait a minute. Is that the pastor that shared And so Emily says, yeah. And she goes, that's my church. I heard him, I've been telling time not knowing. So now this woman's like, hey, this is so God was working all this out. So I went there and I prayed with this woman, and she cried and cried, and she sat there and there were five or six people in the room. And she looked at me, and this good Jesus is. Wow. She said, they know this is a woman who had a stroke significant. And she said, they have to know how good Jesus is like we do. And I was crying and she was thought, thank you, Lord. Like, I mean, man, like, this is This is the heart of all of it. And because of what I've gone pray with this woman and her use it, man. He's never done. Absolutely. And, and I could tell you so blessed by your story, you know, Yeah. Have you come back? Yeah. You guys are everywhere, man. I check into my doctor's office. I saw you at New Life. You know, people hop onto the I saw you at New Life. Yeah, it's great to see, man. Um. just again, this one church, It's a church of Jesus Christ And our suffering and our are not going to stop him. And in fact, if we submit and it, all of it. You know, let's talk about something a little more fun and light because you, um, you've been trying to get me in an airplane. Come on, everybody, I want Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a Yeah. Talk about that. How did you get into like, now So I am scared. I love Jesus, but I don't have Let me tell you something. And this is kind of a guy thing, petrified to fly my whole life. If I was going to go on vacation six months from now, I'd be anxious about the flight the whole time. So early on when I was in the weeks and I thought, you know, I It really bothered me that I had thought, man, I was afraid to And now here I am going to die I'm robbed. Like, like as a guy, I'm like, Yeah. And so I said, you know, if you you need to you get over that. You need to go. So it so happens. Yeah, that my son in law is a I got out of the hospital, I September, I was back to And uh, September first was my twenty twenty four. And September fifteenth was just a couple of days after my birthday. My daughter and my son in law and they had a gift bag, and I plane tickets that they made. And so I'm looking around and I see one of them says, Brian, no pilot. And I thought, oh, this is going So I was excited and afraid at And I'm like, I can't even lift and my dog goes, yeah, okay. You don't know how to do And I'm like, all right, that's And I went up that first time September fifteenth, twenty twenty four. And I've been up twenty five Come on. Yeah, I bet I love it. I'll look outside and I'll say, And we fly. I mean, we're going to get you But we fly, we fly, we go to I gorgeous around here. I mean, we flew to the vineyard You see the coast of Cape Cod We flew in July, July fifth. We flew above all the lakes and fireworks at night. So I mean, just but I'm, you I mean, it's my this is what my He's a flight instructor. You know, when you study flight, when you understand it and, and, you know, it's something that I enjoy doing and I feel like, you know what? I've overcome that fear, man. Yeah. And even that's a testimony. And, and so yeah, it's just one it's like, I love it. Yeah. Every time you send pictures, It's it's beautiful. It is really? Yeah. I got a couple people on my list Not yet, you know, maybe, but So you're on the not yet list? Not the. No. Some people give me a hard no. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. I just, you know, I love Jesus Yeah yeah yeah. No, it's, uh, yeah, it's I think it's awesome. It's amazing. Yeah. We have fun. We've been everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Chatham and we went to Vermont. We went to, uh, vineyard Block There's a grass strip in the We landed in the grass just all Even that. Right. It's a testimony of what you Because that was right. That wouldn't be on your radar. No. Not even. And I mean, one of the last I have both hands on the yoke throttle because, you know, you And he said, I think it's strong enough to do the yoke with just one hand now and you do the throttle. So the last time I landed, I actually did both for the first time. So, you know, everything is still going and I'm still fighting. I'm still seeing improvements. And, you know, I'm getting that I don't want to take anything Um, we can't not talk about the church because we're both pastors. We love our city. Right? How are you seeing God move in How how am I not? I mean, one of them. I mean, I've been doing this for a long time, twenty five years or so. And one of the things that I see people all this generation, I'm about this generation. What I've seen is younger people, twenty somethings who have said, you know what the artificial, the I want authentic relationships. I want they have a distrust of reason, but they have a heart We've had countless couples who came in, you know, maybe living together or just not knowing Jesus, who got saved and baptized, married. And you don't have to tell them They're doing what we've been to do forever. They're just doing it. I don't have to tell them. They're just. They felt they fell in love with He's changed their life. And it's like, man, this. And you see, I think by and large, you know, my son's and my kid's generation, they're not interested in stuff as much as experiences. They want to do things. They're interested in there's, I'm so encouraged and like, no, you don't. You're not seeing the right. You know, it's always good and But I'm encouraged by this And again, not just with the We've seen growth in every way. Um, you know, obviously attendance and offering, those are numbers we're all used to, but I look at the number of people connected to us as a church. And then out of that number, I people have plugged into They're either in a group forty percent of the adults, thing, you know. And so it's exciting to see God, Um, one of the things that we've done and, you know, I share my testimony, I share, we don't use the word testimony now because people say I don't have a testimony. But then when you say, well, tell me a story, nobody says, right. So, so, uh, we've had, we've incorporated a lot into our breakfasts and into our community groups. Share a story with folks. And I have heard, I mean, I love I love testimonies. I love to hear the power of the And I've heard story after story Oh, man. Like, you know, I've never Fifty years I've never. Or just that brother, that thought I knew him because we for twenty or thirty years and And so I think if we share our a little vulnerable, I think to do that. And, uh, I mean, that's the book Absolutely. They were real and that changes And so I'm encouraged and I see, I see people, uh, maturing in wanting to go deeper. Um, we're big right now in this season on sort of spiritual formation. Like we know a lot about Jesus. We have a lot of information That's a very different thing And so we're called to become like him, not just know about him. Absolutely. Well, because we have, uh, other pastors and ministers who listen, right? Yeah. What's, what's a word for the, Um, yeah, I had a quote, a friend of mine, I'm going to, I'm going to pull my phone out for one second because I, I needed this, I needed this in the moment. And my friend sent this to me was just so good and so timely. Um, and this, this is what he I want to see if I can get this I shut my phone off, so this is If you have peace. Depends on everything going That's not actually peace. That's control. Learning to be stable and underrated skills you can have. Trust God. And I think, you know, we say we Of course that's the right We say we love God, but I mean, And, uh, and so my encouragement would be, you know, my brothers, my sisters, you know, in the ministry in particular is we're going to have, we're going to have seasons. They're going to be challenges, We're going to respond wrong. We're going to deal with our own We're going to deal with to deal with suffering. And in all that. God is there. You know, I love probably. I mean, we hear again all the And I think sometimes things that we hear all the time we can lose. But Jesus says, come to me, all give you rest for your souls. Yeah. Jesus invites us into a deeper whatever it is we're facing. Um, we preach that and we, and we know that right in here, but I think we got to know that in here. Yeah. It's one thing to say, hey, to trust God. Amen. Well, with that in mind, why don't you, um, why don't you pray for us, pray for the church. Pray for those who might be in a hospital bed right now suffering. Yeah. And, uh, pray that I would love to see more of the church in New England. Have what we have. We have great friendship. Yeah. We love our city and we have Partners, you know? Yeah. Would you pray? Yes. Yeah. Lord, we we are so grateful, opportunity to come together and Yes, Lord. Lord, it's the story is not It's not about suffering per se. It's about the goodness of God. A God who who never sleeps, a A God who can still with a word, And so, father, we know that we will have trouble. And yet when it comes, we act And Lord, we know that as we you, that difficulty with you in But you tell us to take heart, overcome this world, which I invitation to heaven someday, And so, Lord, help us together. Live out this hope we profess We pray that our lives would be an overflow of having spent time with you. Yeah, we pray that we allow you that you can work through us. God. Lord, we love you. Our hope is in you. Our trust is in you. We pray for your power, your But we pray those things for We want your power. We want your presence, and we But for your purposes, not ours, And so, Lord, have your way in our churches and our communities. God, have your way in in the lives of every person we encounter. Yes, Lord. I think of the prayer of Jabez, which, you know, just simply expand my territory, give me opportunity, God. And there are always There are always people who need of your great love. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, God doesn't love He makes us good because he And so thank you for making us Thank you for the invitation to apprentice, to walk with, to follow Jesus. Yes, Lord. And to become more like him. That's what we all desire. God. Yes, Lord. Not simply knowledge, but an And so help us all, Lord, to your goodness, and let our lives the feet of Jesus. In his name we pray. Amen. Amen. So, Brian, I want to tell you, you're a gift to the body of Christ. You're a gift, man. You know, I've been so blessed and challenged by seeing you go through this, you know, and so many of us have now have a template, right, for what to do, right. In these moments of pain and tribulations that we go through. So I just want to say thank you for yeah, for allowing the Lord to, to, to lead you and mold you through this process and to teach us how to do that, you know? And so keep praying for me. I'm going to get up in that Alright. Good man. We'll make it happen. Yeah. No thank you. This has been really good. I appreciate the opportunity to Appreciate you. God bless you. Perfect. Good man. That was great. That was awesome, man. That was good stuff. Always fun. Always fun talking to you, man. Praise God. I'll send it to you once we have Yeah. No. That's right. Yeah. When we were trying to release this one, uh, next week's the first. Um, so we'll release it next week, uh, next, next Wednesday or Thursday, uh, Wednesday, Wednesday. Okay. Yeah, I'll send it to you once No. It's great. We'll, uh, we'll get you up in We'll get back over here. We'll make it all happen. Now, you said it on camera. Yeah, I told my wife. I said, look at these pictures, They look amazing. I saw you on Facebook, I.