Speaker: 0:02

Welcome to the sauce cast. All right. It's the sauce cast and garage Yeah yeah yeah. So we tried some, some cute of shake things up, see if we Um, but want to welcome Wally He leads the Garage Nights podcast, which has been a blessing to my life, but I know to a lot of people's lives as well. And of course, you know, Pastor and, uh, money, money, money, or, you know. All right, you know, multiple Yeah, we don't forget little E, you gotta have little, you know, you can't do little e. That's my son. He'll be little e little l how and asked me, is it big E or e Yeah, since then. Which is great, you know, Yeah. Right. That's true. It's a good way to know. All right, people, listen. That means I got to get into the There you go. You know, please don't. I got I got one song in me. The key is to say something at will will come back and mention Because everybody, everybody Yeah. Everybody starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not everybody finishes. That's an Easter egg right Yeah. And that's what I've been learning too with this podcast game. Yeah, yeah. You know, um, so we should reverse everything we're gonna do. We should start from the end. It's not real boring. Yeah. Save all the sauce in the end. Stick through to the end. Yeah. So how has that been? How's the podcast journey been Yeah. Uh, man. So coming into it, I came into Just just trying something. Right. And the beauty of it, it's like, accountable to anybody but God. Yeah. Right. So whatever happens, happens. If it doesn't go anywhere, it Um, you know, and I've, I've kind of been one that I think that's something God has helped me do is I'm willing to take risks, you know, um, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. So all that to say, uh, it's It's been cool. It's been really cool. Um, the time in the work, I Talk about it. Yeah. I underestimated, um, all the, the details, but it is, it's Right? Yeah. It's time. It's gonna, you know, there's a The conversations do I love, you And there are guys that I sit down with that I think I kind of know. And then as we start to unpack like, you know, I love it has been all about. It's just us getting to know each other and doing this, this walk together. And, uh, so I've had some really And I leave there, like, if conversation was worth it. Yeah. You know, um, and the one thing surprise is how many women have Um, because my mindset was the guys, you know, like, what better and grow? Um, but I think the women are like, all right, what do guys talk about? Yeah. So it actually drew more women to listen to, like what's in their heads. Yeah. Right. This is one way to find out. Yeah, yeah. Uh, so it's been great. I am, I'm definitely enjoying for different reasons. Um, but I am it's my mind has thinking about what's, what's Let's go. And what was the catalyst for Uh, a few things, but just as I get more and more involved with the men, I've always watched podcasts. I've always listened to podcasts Um, and it's like, all right, superstars, these millionaires. I'm listening to these people. Their lifestyle is not my life. Yeah, yeah. Like what they go like what their Monday through Friday looks like. And what the average guy that lives are so different. So I'm like, man, I want to I the average dude, the everyday You know what I mean? Um, I promise that different. Yeah. My problems are different. Right, right. You know? Um, so that was, that was just And then the second thing was garage night thing is something It was just never on camera was Yeah, yeah. So that was nothing new. That just kept going. Yeah. You know, um, but we're like, it out there then. Yeah. And what does season two look Season two. Um, and this is, this is part of actually going to happen. But I think season two is going Let's go. You know, um, I've been hesitant gonna I'm gonna go for it. Yeah, yeah. Um, so I'm gonna go video, but So instead of doing every other month, you know, alternate with Um, but that's one thing. The other piece that season two is going to look like is something I'm still praying on it. So I'm, I'm not going to release Okay. Yeah. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. It's like we're starting at the Sorry. At the beginning. There you go. Yeah. So we got to come up with the going to be multiple podcasts Call it the cave or something, Cave. Sean. Sean gave me something. What did he say it was? Oh, man, Sean is super creative. But it was something like it was, but it meant it talked the garage, the source. You put all those together. I was like, hey, that's, that's Yeah. We're gonna have to go back to Yeah, come back to him. So you were, you were on the kind of experience with the What I love about it is the fact And it doesn't have to be that this person has this title or this accomplishment or whatnot, but it's like, oh, these are the guys that we do life with, right? And majority of people out there can relate to that way more than they would relate to a celebrity. Yeah. You know what I mean? Again, we, we like to hear all different perspectives of life, but I think most people are going to relate to the everyday guy. Right, right. Who's trying to figure out how to be a better husband, a better father, a better follower of Jesus? Right. You know, and I think that to me I listen to it and I'm like, because I know this is going to You know what I mean? Because again, I listen to a lot I'm not sharing all of them. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm listening to one right now and I'm like, if I share this, people like, what is this guy talking about? I'm enjoying it. You know what I mean? So I love that. I love the everyday feel of it. You know what I mean? And I love the, again, the, the, the whole garage thing is so cool because it's not like something that he was trying to, you know, conjure up based on algorithm. You know what I mean? This was like an actual reality Right. You know what I mean? So to me, anytime you're doing something like that, it success to me is just being faithful to the very thing you were called to do. Right. And the fact that you're being faithful to the thing you're already doing, you can't lose, right? You know what I mean? Because you already have this Absolutely. So why not amplify it, allow So I love it. That's awesome. I love it because today we're going to talk about true masculinity. And that's part of an aspect of I'm sure two years ago you didn't see yourself starting a podcast. You know, I didn't see myself But it's like that adventure like, yes, Lord, let's figure I'm doing it with you. It's in your will, it's in your way, and I'm going to follow suit. So it's beautiful. But before we get into true about the World Cup because you Yes. I'm coming around again. I'm a Mexican trying to get used Um, what's your take on the So Spain won yesterday two zero. And today we have Argentina and So who do you think's going? I'm going England for sure. Yeah, I'm going England for There's somebody in the room Shaking his head. All right. Behind the scenes we got a But he's wearing he's literally He's not even Argentinian, by He didn't have it last week. No no no no. So he's a Yeah. He's a he's still got the tag on it because when they lose he's returning it. Messi bandwagon fan. Yep. Um I'm also pulling for England to pull this well quote unquote upset if you want to call it that. I would love to see Spain and And I always support Spain. Yeah. So this is kind of cool. Um, but it's been a fun World Yeah, it's been a lot of fun. Yeah. Especially for you. Yeah. Well, listen, can I just give a Yeah. Here's the cool thing. We are the only team Spain Right, right. In this World Cup. Right. Oh, okay. Bragging rights right there. Flexing right there. Right. You know what I mean. We tied them. And for us, that tie was a win. Yeah yeah. And they won every game since. And so this is a flex for Cape Was it zero zero one one zero So Spain couldn't even score on Crazy shout out because that's Absolutely. That's the game that put that One hundred percent. Um it's funny, they said, um, a new species and they named Seriously? True story. Gotta Google this. That's awesome. Okay. Some deep creatures in the sea And this man decided we're going Virginia. That's. Wow. That's this guy. Like he blew up. He's forty one years old. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're talking about an This is his right here. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's pretty cool. No. It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Not as exciting for me as a Um, and it's tough because I high expectations every time. So that's real. You know, I can't even imagine isn't do well. It's come home with the title. Yeah. So that's real. You know like some of these guys But with that, um, there's just to say I sit in my couch and just hunger, just that rawness Cape Verde came in and like, sit at this table, right? Let's eat. Right. Like, they've never been to this Brazil was like, oh, we belong Where's my comfortable seat? Because I, I need the, the, you when I get to the table. Like, so we've been there. We expect it, you know. Um, so I think that's part of You know, and again, that's easy I get to sit in my couch and one is ours. Can I just say the next one is All right. Okay. It's a long way to wait. Truth is, this is the first year hype around Brazil. It was almost like coming into I don't know about this team. You know what I mean? They didn't have that flair, you Yeah. They didn't have that like that. You know, that beautiful soccer It was ugly from the beginning, You know what I mean? And so it's this the first time I saw Brazil in a place of like average. Yeah. It's kind of weird. Well, we'll go above average. Let's go above. Come on, man. Like that's crazy. You got hurt on that one. You got hurt on. That was average. Now everybody's average. That's awesome. I was in it until Trump got Yeah, man. When they brought in, um, what's Flo. I was like, come on, man. Why? And, uh, Belgium was trolling Everyone was trolling. I don't blame him. I don't blame him. No. You know, us look terrible Yeah, like they definitely lost. I don't know what happened to taking a step back and wasn't it four one at the end. Yeah. Four one. Yeah. Yeah. I was upset as soon as I heard we're we lost. Yeah we lost. We became Goliath to beat. Now he can't help himself He can't take credit for it. Just let soccer be soccer. They could have won. Oh, boy. So who do you think is going to You said England. Yeah. I mean, to me, if it's England, It's a win win to me. Yeah. I think Spain will win. Yeah. You know I think I think Spain about one person right. It's about the team. I don't I haven't seen a team All about France. But they showed France. Yeah. That they're even a better Yeah yeah. They contain Mbappe so well And they just play so fluidly You know what I mean? They're not panicking. They take their time. They'll dissect you. They'll make you come out you Yeah. Yeah. And even even the French player like, man, we couldn't get them They made us play their game. Wow. Yeah. You know, so I, I think I think Let's go. And they are they started two Crazy. That's insane. Yeah. Crazy. Two nineteen year olds. One of the things that, uh, Thierry Henry, which was what the commentator I really like, I like his takes on things, but he was like, look at their system, right? He said, go back to their youth Yeah. They just keep winning their Nineteen just one, I think ten consecutive euros or something crazy, right? So he's like, look at their He says, if you go look at it, from very early on, all the way So they talk about systems, They created a great system, Of developing these players and So so that makes me think of Yeah. Because the Spanish league has You got some powerhouse teams in So that money flows down to the You know what I mean? Like, so then you think of countries like Cape Verde, right? What's the youth systems? Hey, you're playing out barefoot In anywhere there's a patch of grass or sometimes even a concrete. Right? That's your youth system. Yeah. So the gap is always going to be Right? So money and resources plays a That's another thing why the US Because you're competing with Right? Right. And they don't get to have that same focus that football, baseball, basketball, even hockey, right. Will take. So that's why. And when everybody sees, you know, it's funny because I hear so many people say, oh, we are the greatest country in the world. We have these great athletes. Why can't we have someone go It's like, that's not the same Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Right. Like Messi looks like your staples, you know what I mean? But it's going to give you work He does. He's been doing that since he You know what I mean? Yeah. You know Barcelona got him when Yeah yeah. Brought him over. And they have a school where you to school, you play. Yeah. That's different. You know these guys are fully You know that's what Landon little snippet of his. He was like, you have to. In America, the household medium play soccer and to actually go But in the other places, like in Europe or in Spain, Italy, they start they go to all the poor places, but they already pay their coaches. So they don't have to put that on the family, which is something that would be pretty cool if America can make it past the quarterfinals. Yeah, There's a hope. There's a hope. We'll start with the You start with the Start the quarterfinals. But today, we're gonna talk And there is a design for Men who are men, not feminine men who are men. Um, and I want to look at a signal how far we've drifted And so I want to do culture the Bible and figure out what is So I have a question for the What do you think masculinity over the years has become such a controversial topic? Why has it become such a Uh, the one thing that I think we're called to be as men. It's been misunderstood. And I think, you know, through misunderstanding has become the Like what? What is a man like? What is my role as a man? Um, so I think that's, that's a big factor of men trying to figure out like, because yeah, you know, things have changed obviously since, you know, uh, like if you go back to the early, I don't know, nineteen, like the twenties, thirties, or forties, it's all about wars and soldiers. And that's, that's what defined So yeah, we've changed so much. And, um, and I think because of uncertain of themselves and who to be, you know, um, and it's One of the, uh, stat, as you things, but, uh, I came up with stat, I didn't come up with it. Um, men are four times more Mhm. Four times more likely than You know, um, and again, it of a man. Yeah. And I think again, it comes from supposed to be. It hasn't. It's not clearly defined. Right. And it's not clearly modeled for Yeah. I think to, um, when I think pull back and say there has been deconstructionism of a man. Mhm. Everything that's happening in things that were in place. Right. The family unit that used to be That's being, you know, You know, the, uh, the focus on patriarchal society, right. And try to break that down. So when you start to break down that was, I believe, ordained by Right. And then obviously education. And then, you know, politics. Um, and the big emphasis on, you Yeah. Yeah. Right. And then the LGBTQ movement, all deconstructed the average man. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because think about it. Like when you say the guy is And it's like, everything Right? Right. It's advocating for everything But the man. Mhm. Right. And the man is being ridiculed. The man is being kind of like Yeah, yeah. That that's going to affect you, you know, because it's not being done just directly, but indirectly. Everything around is saying It's about kids. It's about the, the, the, the in his gender. But what about the man? Right. You don't see many things out Like that. Says who is a man? Yeah, yeah. And here are the traits of a And we are advocating for you. Right, right, right. Everybody else is being But I think it's a spiritual That's deconstruction. Right? That's taking place to kind of That has led to, I think, this And why is it that men are struggling with committing suicide? And one of the greatest Right. I can't help but to see the deconstruction of of this whole thing that's been going on, I would say. I mean, after I would say after the sixties, you know what I mean? It began. Right. If you start to see it, it's gotten all the way here of the average man, you know? Yeah, yeah. And again, I think part of the masculinity is not meant to her role is. Right, right. So we've society or culture has So now they're pinned up against Exactly. You know. Exactly. Yeah. And the guy who kicked that in. Oh. Kicked the bees nest was against that really hard and no, man, there's a role for a And yeah, all the other areas But there is a role for a man to And I think I mean, we can sense And unfortunately he was kind of he made a stand and like, no, And that's why I think he, he because the, the, the average That's how I feel. Mhm. You know what I mean? That's why so many college young I just watched a documentary on him because again, it's fascinating what he was able to accomplish with such a young age, man. Like, but to see how many young Right. It showed you like, hey, look, Like I have something to And like you said, I think the order to elevate the woman, I Right? Absolutely. Yeah. I always say that every woman should want to be Christians because Jesus elevated woman more than anybody in the history. Absolutely. Right. But Jesus was a man's man, But he still saw value. Why? Because again, he knew like he's He created man and woman in his compete with each other, but to Right? But again, when you don't take what you have is, is a lesser Now you compete, right? And you try to put each other But it's like, that was never The point was we complement each Yeah. And how we got here was men not It's kind of like you go back to The reason why we came into sin is Adam wasn't taking up his role. And there was a role for a man I want to ask you guys this. What are some ways you've seen culture try to redefine masculinity? So I just watched Toy Story five Where five now? Five. Yeah. Five. Right. What? Are you still there? Yeah. Toys still there. Okay. But very interesting, right? Because in that, right, you can Again, you talk about culture. This was a great picture of Because it was a good movie. But if you're paying attention, Jessie. Mhm. Right. And made Woody and Buzz kind of Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And so in the end, there's this I'm going to give the movie I don't know if you guys want to Five. Go for it. Maybe maybe, you know, but but are playing with the toys and Right. But in the wedding, Jessie is Mhm. But Jessie is already at the Buzz is coming in. Mhm. And he's wearing a quilt like a And it's like, why are we, you know, but it's just this little undertone of, like, even throughout the movie, Jessie's taking charge. Like Jessie's leading the, the know what I mean? And buzz is just coming around hey, what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you see like, almost like world has been trying to push You know what I mean? But I couldn't help but to see And I had a conversation with that saying, you know, you pick like, we're trying to elevate Buzz is kind of like the idiot. Like, hey, what are we doing? Looking to Jesse for everything. Yeah, yeah. And so to me, that was a great revelation of, oh, man, this is what the culture is going, you know, and we better put our foot down, right? And not allow that to be what Come on. This thing was supposed to look Absolutely, absolutely. I gotta ask you this. Do your kids ever say like, dad, Because every time you watch a movie, there's a revelation afterwards. It's like, dad, it was it was Absolutely. I have to pick and choose my And this one I only I only broke Yes. Just enjoy it for what it was. Enjoy it. It was just me and Grace No, I'm not watching a movie No, no. I'll go do chores. Yeah, I'm that funny. Um, no, I think my. You're talking about redefining I think what you mentioned which is one of my themes that Quite often we talk about our as husbands, as dads, um, even two women can raise a child. Mhm. And, you know, there's this women, it's a, it's a multi fulfill the same needs. Like how insane is that? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so that father figure now because it is a, a dual family, Yeah. Um, so I think that's it, man. Like that's the spiritual It's breaking down the covenant Yeah. Taking down the importance of You know, um, I did a, uh, I did pulling out kind of random names And what I came across is less It was about forty seven percent different backgrounds, you know, different socioeconomic, Less than half. It was forty seven percent. Um, had a mom and dad on their So I'm going basically just on I don't ask questions. I don't know who like nothing. Right. But forty seven percent had mom So that means more than half, Either it's a split home or so I think it was almost a quarter. There was just no dad at all on Right. Um, and then so there you go. So there's less than half of our without a father figure at home. Yeah. and then we won't even talk about the ones within that forty seven percent. How are the what's what's that Right, right. Just because he's dead doesn't mean he is a positive male role model either. Right. Um, so there's the know that right there. We know the importance of way, having biblical principles, know, um, and we know how that they get older. I was coaching my son's team and And you would think in a small private school, it would look different, but it looked the same, right? Because I would do this book mentoring book about questions to ask when you're a young man, right? And I would do this with the like read a chapter and then we And we got to the to the topic And I have a small team. We don't even have fifteen Right. And majority of them were like, A lot of them didn't know their And one kid was like, I don't even know how to answer some of these questions because I have two moms. And he starts crying and he's like, I don't even know how to answer this. I've never had a guy around to ask these questions that you're asking me. You know what I mean? To the point that even my son went home was like, dad, I didn't know. Wow. Like that. What I have is yeah, is unique. I thought like everybody had, But just unpacking that a little players, you know, realizing doesn't, knows that this one's I've never had a conversation It's like, man, if that's happening a small, right, you know, school, never mind, you know, a big public school, never mind what the world at large and what's happening, right with the this construction. I mean, again, the enemy has such chaos and confusion in this other instead of, you know, fighting for each other, not You know what I mean? Right. Right. And then. So one of the lies, excuse me, that society is pushing and we know it's it's doing a great job, right? Is masculinity. Um, how sexual, how fulfilling being a masculine man, right? Tying in to be a man. Right? Right. Like you get your body count up, you know, doing your thing with all the pleasures of life. Mhm. Um, yeah. You're a solid dude. You're someone that people look Right. Right. Right. And again, what's the long term effect is more and more kids are being brought up and raised, right. You know, without a father to his role. Right. And then what it does to he elevates all the wrong voices, right? It's the tape brothers that got And then they, they fizzle out because it's like these things cannot sustain themselves, right? And then the sad reality is when you are a kid who has no role models around and you're looking at YouTube all day, you're looking at Instagram all day, you're looking at TikTok all day. These are the guys that become These are the guys that you look And then the average dude who's supposed to be there, who is again, not playing their role, like you're saying, I've taken a back seat. And then you have a huge gap. There's a hole there, right? Of young men going like, what Right. You know what I mean? It's sad. Absolutely. It's funny because, um, trying I go back to Katt Williams. Don't put on the dress. Um, but a lot of these guys are people their same age. Like, I don't know if y'all live streaming tool that these and they'll stream their lives hop on and be with them twenty So they'll stream their whole life from morning till night, all day. And these guys live outlandish I'm sure you all heard. I show speed. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So he will stream his whole life and he does some pretty outlandish things. And a lot of guys think, oh, Or like a sicko who just gave just in New York saying, um, belongs to Islam. They'll follow Nico on Kik or they'll follow this guy named Clavicle Clavicular and he's into. Have you ever heard of look smacking look maxing looks maxing. No no no looks Max smacking It just means like you're So like if you're Bible maxing mean you're elevating your Bible knowledge or Jesus maxing, you're elevating your Jesus life. So they're following all these into bone smashing and so he'll So his parents had to hide his face so he can sculpt her, his And it's called bone smashing. And so a lot of these dudes are following guys like this and getting their masculinity from these guys. That's great. And it's redefining a whole new themselves, individual lives. And then we're what I see it fatherlessness, but at a at a Um, what do you guys kind of see It's a whole lot of insanity. You just mentioned there like taking a hammer and bone smashing. You literally just hit his face. Your face just over and over It'll get harder. The cartilage apparently gets. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. No. Think of that influence. Like. Like seriously, that's the influence back in when we were young, if you asked a kid, what do you want to be when you grow up? If you ask the kid in Cape soccer player, right? That's a kid in Brazil who's Yeah, but like what kids looked generations back, right? You may say a doctor, you may say a lawyer, you may say a policeman, a firefighter, a professional athlete, may be an actor. Yeah, yeah. Not a not a social media Yeah, yeah. So now, and I don't know what if you ask how many kids would, media influencer above any of Yeah, yeah. And like, why, what are those Right, right. But they are making obviously a Absolutely. Well, again, to me, it's, it the hole that is left when Right, right. You know what I mean. When there's no real fathers, We're all we're all influenced Right? And nowadays, anyone could be an influencer if you have social media. Right. And so that's where these kids And that's where these kids are going to, you know, look towards. But to me, it speaks so much of It's like, man, no one's asking the question, where is this leading? Right, right. You know what I mean? Where is this leading? What's the actual fruits of You know what I mean? And like I always like to ask the question is, hey, uh, what does that guy life look like when the the cameras are turned off? Right. And he's by himself. Mhm. Right. What are his thoughts? Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. Because to me, it's like there's You know what I mean? There's a lot of projections, But it's like, what's really going on behind the scenes. We know the cameras are not Who are you? What are you feeling? Are you really happy? Are you really content? Because it seems to me these And the more you keep pushing the envelope is because you're empty. You're trying to find something. But. So we need to help our young people read through the lines and read through the lies that look, man, this is all projections. And clearly these people are Clearly, something is missing defines a man. You know what I mean? And the reality is this we always I hate to say it, but sooner or later you hear something crazy about these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. Right. Sooner or later. Right. You look at the tape, brothers Sooner or later something pops go so far with with that until Yeah, yeah, you know what I And and people got too much time Right, right. You know what I mean? Like, like, like parents keep Right. Seriously, your kids need more Like if you're consuming that don't care how old they are. I'm sorry. Like keep them busy, keep them them something to do. You know that there's, I get it like it's the world they live in. It's different. They're going to get some They're going to get their Right, right. Um, but we as parents got to step in and say, no, you can't just, you can't just eat that up all day. But that's the problem. Right? The problem is it's forsaking Come on, to play that role, to talk to our kids about this stuff. I'm big on the explaining the You know why we don't consume Right, right. And the ones that are old enough, I'm talking to them about like the what I just said, like, what is the outcome of this stuff? Like what? Like, do you like the fruits of Very good. Do you know what I mean? Not just the content, but the Like, do you like what they have And if you had a conversation the meaning of life, what would I mean, there's such emptiness. It's pretty obvious, but it's year old to understand that if reality, you know what I mean? Over and over again. Right, right. Because I was telling our youth pastor yesterday, I'm like, man, the world doesn't stop preaching. It's twenty four over seven, the ones we think we're not. We've preached enough. It's like, no, like we, we need to counter that stuff over and over again. You know what I mean? Again, that's why I have this five, you know what I mean? Right through because I'm like, kids, right, right. I gotta preach back. Right, right. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, but, but I know guy is working, right? And then he comes home and he But it's like, man, if you're Yeah, man, I gotta work for my Right? You know what I mean? This is where I got to be on, Right. To make sure that my kids are understanding what really matters. Because if not, these guys will Absolutely. They will be the ones to mentor They will be the one to tell You know what I mean? Absolutely. Absolutely. And there are other voices that Yeah. Right. You just mentioned Pastor Dre. Um, I'm grateful for Pastor Dre who, who have been influenced Yeah. But it's other voices because we Yeah. Uh, our voice only goes so far. At some point, I voice becomes I've heard it before, right? Yeah. You know, I was talking to a twenty something year old recently. We were talking about fasting, know, and I'm like, hey, fasting You know, there's different ways phone off for twenty four hours. See what it does for you. You know and the person agree big thing for me. Yeah. I would love more of those You know, give me the twenty you know, whatever. Yeah. Talk to our teenagers about, you know, how cellphones have impacted you. How time staring at a screen and Absolutely. I want my kids to hear from Right. Not just us, you know. Right. Yeah, absolutely. I have a quote for you guys. I would love your take on it. Said hard times create strong Strong men. Create good times. Good times create weak men and What's your take on that? Wow. That's that sums up where we It sums up where we are. Like, I think here's the The problem with where we are is, is we have so much abundance. We don't know what to do with So we create problems, you know That's what I see. I see a country of abundance who And when you don't have a clear mission, you don't have a clear purpose. Then you, you are you are now you're creating problems. You're not creating solutions. Right? Right. Like, so when you, when you like, what are the solutions to Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. What are they contributing to Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Other than creating more Right. Because that's what men do. And again, the misconception of You know, humility is not You know what I mean? Humility is actually strength That's why I'm a huge fan of Right? You know what I mean? I'm a huge fan of the fact that this dude was so strong that he was willing to give his life for something. Yeah. You know what I mean? None of these guys are giving That's the question I like to Like, what are they giving their Right? You're giving your life to get more streaming you're giving your life to to build a platform of nothing. Yeah. You mean to me, it's the most That's why to me, these are You know what I mean? These. This is weak. Man will produce problems. We'll create more problems, Man who don't? Men who have sex. But don't bother the kids. They're weak. Mhm. You know what I mean? And they just. They just repeating the cycle of But projecting strength by just It's not strength. If you can't stay with a woman, Right, right. You can't stay around your kids. You're not a strong man. If you can't stay in a job. You're not a strong man. You know what I mean? You can't stay in the church. You're not a strong man, right? I mean, so to me, it's like, man, it's the reversal of what weak is and what strength is, right? Strength to me is consistency, Strength to me is staying the course even when hell breaks loose. Right? Right. You know what I mean? Everybody's quick to run. You know what I mean? And then project like, with It's like we do a lot of mouth Right. But to me, that that is the epitome of what's happening right now. We've created more problems than In solutions because of understanding of weaknesses versus strength has been reversed. You know, and to me, that's, interesting cycle, right? And to me, that's the empty Yeah. Right. Without God as your creator that There's your cycle. You know, when, when life is Yeah. Then you do something that jacks Or you're seeking the good And the good times now leads to Like it's the ongoing cycle. That's why to me, to strive to You're just. It's where do you want to enter It doesn't matter where you come round and round. That's true. Um, so that's why my goal is My vision is not to be any of know, so my goal is to be a man is empowered to be strong at you know, when things are going get to you. Yeah. To enjoy and have fun. Right. And, and enjoy the excitement in Yeah. Without chasing the big thing, without having to compare and say, well, let me match that excitement. You know, let me, let me go get In July. Um, but so that's to me, like, it's as a man, it's what you are. It's what you're determined, who It's what breaks the cycle. Mhm. You know, I was talking to my and scream at at rules, right? We kick and scream at Mhm. But the reality is, we are never well without rules and boundaries. Right. Right. I was like, we like sports, I'm like, can you imagine if someone takes four steps and dunks it, but no one calls travel. They do but NBA. NBA right. Or you make a shot after the It doesn't count because rules What would soccer be with no Yeah it would be interesting. Exactly. The defense would just have to You would have to play inside Right. So so in other words, what I'm of the Bible, God sets the them boundaries, gives them to succeed in this. Yeah, yeah. Right. But you go out of bounds. That's what we call out of Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Right. And to me, that's what we're We're seeing people who are They push the envelope. There's no rules. There's no regulations. There's no out of bounds. No. Look, look what we produce. Yeah. A bunch of nonsense and emptiness because it's like page one. I created you in my image and I'm giving you this. I want you to take the meaning Mhm. I see that's not good for you to I'm going to give you a helper. You guys going to do this You're going to build the you know, and all that is the that we have. Life is good, life is good. And we go outside of that. Nothing good happens, right? Right. In the cycle, like you said, is We get to all these different Look at Solomon, man. He's like, bro, what do you He's like, just give me wisdom. Oh man. You know what? I'm glad you asked for wisdom. I'll give you more than that. The more than that. Jackson. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Because now I was like, yo, what I gotta do to protect this thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know why I get more women? You know what I mean? I make more alliances. You know what? It goes to wisdom and it goes You know what I mean? So to me, it's like, man as old, appreciating boundaries, rules, Yeah, yeah. Like, just give me enough. I'm good. You know what I mean? Let me not jack up the game. Right? Right. You know what I mean? Like, you blessed me. Let me take care of this. So I'm appreciating that more. I'm appreciating order more structure more than when you are. When you just still out there, Think that you can create your You can create your own Yeah. And look what we're we're ending Yeah. It's weakness at its best. Right, right. You know. Right. So how would you redefine that, a godly order. So strong men create strong men father, right, to bring comfort How do we bring comfort but also I have to go back to the I think that the order is God Mhm. Right. This has to be in his right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Proper context. Without that man, this is not I mean, we wouldn't be in this Right. In its proper context. Right. We could be in some other rooms. Right. Some other things. Right, right, right. But it's like, man, if this is about the emptiness. It's the emptiness. It's the restlessness that only a man to do dumb stuff. Right. Right. Have an affair or or trying to. Stream twenty. I can't I don't understand that, You know what I mean. But but there's an emptiness. Right, right, right. That is scary because an empty He could do so much damage, or That's still even more damaging, He could become lazy, right? So to me, that has to be the Like we God has to come back Like I like to pray, God, take Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my mind, in my heart. Right then that flows out of me. That I want to now be the father, the rightful friend, you God's trusting me with the Yeah. But to me, like, if you don't have that, I don't care what we do, man. Yeah, yeah. That's one thing with society. We're trying everything. Yeah. It's like, I don't care what you Mhm. Right. You're not going to be You could be Ellen with three trillion dollars and still not be satisfied. Right? You know what I mean? You're going to pursue Mars and whatever else is out there because there's a restlessness, right? Absolutely. You know what I mean? And it's funny because the way I you think your resources will fulfill the restlessness. If you're poor, you're doing it You know what I mean? If you're rich resource, at the end of the day, it's still emptiness, right? This has to be right first. Absolutely. You know. Yeah. All right. I think the second thing that goes after that because obviously that has to be number one. It's it's community. Yeah. You know, and it's who, who, who Who are you surrounding yourself If I'm a if I'm a husband and I'm a dad, you know, and I'm hanging around with, you know, dudes who don't spend time at home and don't value home and could care, you know, aren't invested in their kids or whatever. That's not going to benefit me. Right. You know, um, so it's, it's the Like I want I want to learn, you have a father figure that So good. Yeah. I'm always looking. And obviously I'm taking notes You know, you learn from both, Right. But I'm always like, you know, can that I can, you know, absorb They're gonna, you know, influence me in the right way to be a better dad, a husband to get things right, you know, to help me when I'm weak, to identify first of all, hey, I'm acting out of weakness right now. Like, let me tap into my source. I must be unplugged. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, you know, again, that's you got this. Right. Right. You got this, you know, like, Yeah. You know, and there's a time for Right, right. There's a time we gotta pull some dudes aside and say, hey, man up. Yeah, right. You know? Yeah. Um, but man up with us. Right. Very good. Not in your corner. Very good. I want to ask you, because I've really been thinking a lot about this. You're closer to that than we You know, we're becoming the old You know what I mean? But but you're you're hanging out with a lot of young adults, right? And it's cool to see, like, these young dudes who are coming around, right? And we're seeing a lot of them, So you being closer to that generation, how do you answer that question? Um, I think I'm just going to I think that's been the greatest, greatest transformation I've seen in the young adult. It's one keeping them One of the things I always say to follow Jesus? They say yes. Like, okay, everything from flow out of that. So if they tell me I struggle said you wanted to follow Jesus. Do you think Jesus would co-sign And they're like, no. Like, out how to work around that. We're not going to do it in a We're not going to do it alone. We're going to do it together in community, and we're going to go back to the Bible and work through what needs to get worked through, because most of these things are just a signal of something deeper. Like yesterday, I had a great was like, dude, I just want to clean from smoking weed. And he's been smoking weed since Yeah. And the first day I met him, he never be able to give up. And here we are talking. He's like, I heard the message I was talking with somebody and they said I was telling them I didn't. I never sensed the Holy Spirit I was like, dude, the day you smoke weed, that was an act of And now you're thirty days bro, the Holy Spirit's been Yeah. And he was he was just telling always raising the bar. Yeah. Always telling me there's something greater weed, is not it? Yeah. And that's how I, I don't know that's something I've been doing accountable, like showing them going to lead. If you want to keep going that route, by all means do what you're doing. You're doing great. But if you want to go the way of way of doing it. Yeah. Let me let me stop and give a Because I think when we're talking about these things, it seems like we just talk about the problems. But man, there's been a lot of Yeah. Amen. Praise reports. Absolutely. That I'm seeing, especially from Yeah. Um, for example, uh, I just had a young man who just, they just Come on. And, but, but the way that he talked about it, man, it gives me chills because he's like, he's wrestling through the right things. Yeah, yeah. He's like, man, my, I just saw country in the world. And me and my wife are wrestling Because you've talked about the behind the name, and how I want And I'm like, man, that's so That's a young man right there, trusting him with. Again, Genesis one, right? I mean, and then another guy who didn't hear God's voice until I with someone who wasn't my wife. But he said the moment I said can't stop hearing God. Wow, man, I'm getting chills And then another one. I'm doing a wedding tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another young man who came in with his fiancée and said, man, we want. We want God in this. We want to do this the way that Absolutely. We want to we want this to be a So there's a lot of great things In a in a world full of noise, neck of the woods, it's Absolutely. And I can't help to notice. I don't know if you guys noticed, but man, I altar is filled with young men and women absolutely. Every single week. So I just want to take a moment report that absolutely. Yeah, we're talking about all But yeah, yeah, there's a lot A lot of yeah, a lot of, and that's one of Charlie Kirk's biggest thing. He was like, follow Jesus, get And that's the that's the thing we always preach in young adults. It's like, you want. The first greatest decision is Second thing is, who are you Yeah, because you can either marry lot's wife or you can marry someone really good like Mary. Yeah. Stay away from the Jezebel. Stay away from the jesy's, man. Stay dangerous. And. And I want to touch back on on Right. Because I'm obviously doing a And there's a misconception. Once you get married, it goes Like you don't you don't ever And your all of your sexual fulfilled within marriage. Yeah. Like it doesn't no, no, it's not So take care of that now. Yes. So your marriage doesn't have to Yes. You know, like, let God work on that now and you will reap the benefits, and your wife and your children will reap the benefits later on. Yeah. Yeah. I always say marriage doesn't It amplifies them. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like, I never felt more exposed. Mhm. After I got married. Mhm. Because you're like, yo, I got Yeah. I thought I was good. You know what I mean? All of a sudden you're like, yo, I got work to do. Like, you get exposed again. It's what I got exposed us to Right. You know what I mean? Very good. But, man, I couldn't agree more, These young dudes that have not made that decision yet to get married, it's like, man, work on you. Right. Be the best version of yourself give it your best, but you're Absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And thank God you get exposed. Yes. To protecting you. Absolutely. Absolutely. Amen. So going along that I have this us, actually, that I want to thoughts on it. The strongest man in the Bible man in the Bible are all taken Samson could kill a lion with his bare hands, rip gates off a city, defeat an entire army by himself, but a woman got close enough to him to find his weakness, and he told her not once. Not twice. She asked him over and over, and The man who couldn't get overpowered was outplayed by proximity. Solomon was given wisdom He was also the wealthiest man who ever lived, had everything built the temple, wrote Proverbs. The man literally wrote the book married several hundred women God, who gave him everything. So if strength couldn't protect Samson, and wisdom and wealth couldn't protect Solomon, what makes you think you're the exception? That's not me trying to scare That's me trying to wake you up. Because lust doesn't come for It comes for the ones who think And it never looks like a Looks like a conversation, a A connection that feels harmless By the time you realize what it costs you, the bills already due. Guard your phones, bro. Your eyes, your circle. Because the thing that takes you dressed up as the enemy. It'll come dressed up as something that you think you can handle. Wow. By the way, shout out to my She's the one that exposed me to Let's go. So I was like, I got exposed to Yeah. To this video. So good, you know? Yeah. I mean, we're doing a book right now with our men's groups, right? Every man's battle. Mhm. And I love the title Every Man's Right, right. The key is like, not every man It's the reality of every man Prepared to fight because the Yeah. Right. Uh, I love I'll be honest, man. My group right now, we just dudes have been so honest and so I love it, I love it, you know? So one of the, one of the tips I tip right now. Right. The gym comes up a lot and I get Yeah. Because you go to the gym and what you're what you're seeing, man, you better focus on them dumbbells, right? Right, right. Um, make your own gym at home. That's my that's my advice. That's what I've done. So here's here's what my advice Put pastor Mark on your ears. Right, right, right. Go into gym. Put pastor Mark, not some random Put pastor Mark on your ears and try try, try. Don't try. You won't be able to. But I even met. I was even joking around. I was like, you know what? I'm going to record a podcast with him that says, stop looking. Yeah. Um, and you play that when you But it's the reality of yeah, it's there, you know, it's there. Right, right. You know, but sometimes, you know, it's there and you still go, yeah. Yeah. So it's a reality of like, do I want to win this battle first and foremost? Yeah. Cool. Now how do I prepare myself? How do I quit myself? Yeah. You know, I give a personal testimony because that book meant a lot to me when I got saved. You know? So I'm twenty years old, right? I was sexually active, you know, And one of the first times I feel like I heard the voice of God was like, if you're going to be a man of God, you have to be fully surrendered to me in every aspect. And one of the first scriptures that that revealed to me was Ephesians uh, three five that says among you, there must not be not even a hint of sexual immorality. And I was exposed to that book, seriously to say, God, I'm going Consecrate my eyes to you. Right? Right. And one of the things I love about that book is bounce your eyes. I don't know if you guys have But it was like I started to do You know, we start to practice bounce the eyes, bro. You know what I mean? The power of community, right? Of just elevating our And for me, I just be honest, like one of the greatest conviction that I felt once I got saved was how I was using certain women for my own gratification. Right? Man, God convicted me so deeply about that, that that's someone's children. That's someone's daughter. That's someone's future wife, Right, man. I never felt more convicted. That's the biggest regret that I Was that right? That I even tried to repent to They didn't even know what I was in the world, right? But man, till this day as a father, now I see that so much different. So I would take that a step further to say, look, not just that, but that's someone's daughter, right? That's someone's future. That's someone created in the Right? So to me, man, that having that, the reverence, the fear of the whole nother podcast. The fear of God is lacking. Yeah. Come on in us. You know what I mean? To really see like the, the, the I was reading a book about true repentance is not just saying you're sorry. True repentance is understanding Mhm. Right. And that man, I don't want to God. You know what I mean? Like that to me is where even My God, I don't want to break I want to truly, genuinely repent of things, you know, even if it's a thought, you know what I mean? Because to me, it's like it's It's your heart, right? It's who you are. You know what I mean? So. Amen. And I think again, going back to Going back to Samson and both on assignment. Mhm. God had a calling for both of Yeah. Right. So what happened? Like, it's it's when you come obedience and your calling, you recently and talking about that. Like, as soon as you stay out, as soon as you get off mission, right. You know, so that's been my right on what I'm doing for God for today, the more I can stay the distractions come in, right? You know, the more I'm worried You know, what's on my phone, to show up, right? It's the where we're living. It's going to show up. Right? But if that's not my focus, It's an easy whatever. It's an easy bounce, you know? Um, so that's what I see with these men, like, you know, like Samson. And he was for, for twenty years judge over, over, you know, the blessing to that nation. Think about that. Yeah. A blessing to the nation. Not just you, not just your And then sexual sin took that Like think of the consequence, called to be our obedience. Um, it's not just for me. It's for my family. Who knows the ripple effect, Yeah. The practical thing I want to look at the pattern. Right. Samson, Solomon, David. It's all about. I'm gonna rest now. Mhm. Right. It's almost like the enemy knows Absolutely. For man, it's when you feel Absolutely. Right. And you're just like, I just Mhm. But it's like, what I'm trying was like, yeah, we can chill but Like you're saying, you know Like to me, it's like, be aware. I mean, to me that that's the discernment and the being proactive. It's like, man, be aware. So again, I was talking to someone yesterday about like what to me, what accountability is, is that you've put so many, again, boundaries that by the time you break a couple of jars you into like, wait, what am I doing? Right? You know what I mean? Hopefully you have that like, You know what I mean? So to me, it's like, man, create Be proactive. Right? Because to me, one of the things man's battle was, is like, can things that lead you to that Right? Because to me, that's the game Absolutely. Right. And so I just want to encourage be proactive, have a mission. Because when you have a mission, man, you're most likely to stay focused. And if you're going to rest, Right. You know what I mean? So you don't find yourself One thing led to another again. Come on. You know what I mean? Yeah, I make the joke. It takes a lot to take off a So not everything just happened. No. It didn't. No, it takes a lot to reach over Absolutely. But what I what I got from that and you're not wise enough. It'll come for you. This is going to come from you. Not that special. I think that's what we need. That's it. You know what I mean? Like, that's the other thing Everybody thinks they're so Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I hate to hate that burst, that But you're not. Right, right. Even my own kids get it real, You know, what I preach is what You ain't going to the NBA. You're that special. You know what I mean? Like, just be real, right? You know what I mean? Can we be honest? Right, right. You know what I mean. But everybody thinks that They're the exception to the But if a man after God's own David. Come on. Could have that. It's true. God gave him that compliment, Yeah. God gave Samson his strength. God gave Solomon his wealth, and Oh, what makes us think right. That we're, you know, we're You know what I mean? Facts, facts. And you always say this sin over promises and under delivers every time. Every time. Every time. Man. So I ain't going to flirt with Don't flirt with it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, one practical tool this app called victory. Victory shield. And so what it does, it monitors It'll screenshot your phone like And if there's anything that person you're accountable to. And it has protected a few guys And it's such a great tool to that keeps tripping, because trips a lot of guys. I can't get over porn. Yeah. Well, yeah, because you're Yeah. I always tell them or get a dumb you're really serious about it, You know, take it away I have a funny story about that. I was I was teaching at our school of ministry in Rhode Island. Yeah. And when one young man comes to my office, he's like, man, pastor, I keep struggling with porn. I was like, you know what, man? Give me your phone. He took his phone. I was like, I'm going to put a I'm never going to tell you what No. That's crazy. Put a passcode in. I gave it back to his phone. I said, there you go. You're never gonna be able to Do you really want to be free? Yeah. He just looked at me like, yeah, He didn't know what to do with I don't know what he would do Yeah, cause I still remember He just looked away, went right That's funny. That's mad funny. Uh, so, and I think And again, you gotta want it. You gotta be real. You know, one thing I've shared with our family, with my kids. You know, I have two teenagers Um, and the agreement is I have time I want. Yeah. But the other part of the agreement is you also have full access to my phone whenever you want. Wow. Like I am as a dad, I'm setting you have access to my phone. That's awesome. You know, so if my thirteen year old was to pick up my phone Like as a dad, I can have peace in my heart. You know what I mean? That I am setting the tone and Yeah, it's possible love that, as I say, not as I do right. That doesn't work right. Oh, that's so good. That is good. And what does job say? I won't I made a covenant with my with with my eyes that I won't that I won't look at a woman. Yeah. Great word again. You gotta have you gotta have a Right? To me, it's the word of God. It's part of the game plan. Absolutely right. What's the word that you're You're saying listen to it to me But that's that to me, that's It's like, can I have the Word Keep me grounded and focused? You know, I like simple things double look for me? I, you know what I say? I love my wife. I'm serious. Right? I love my wife. Right? That's your weapon. You know what I mean? I love it's like that, that job thing like, hey, I love my wife though, right? You know what I mean? I really would say that, right? You know what I mean? But again, just to be practical, sure, dudes like, no, it's every man's battle. Absolutely. But you can win. Absolutely. You know what I mean? No way man. Absolutely, absolutely. And what is Psalms one say? Don't walk, stand or sit with sinners, but be in the counsel of many, but also the Word of God. Have it in your heart. And so there's something Being in the crew has kept a lot of guys free from pornography, from falling into those lustful situations, because there's someone raising that bar for you. I just had an idea with your to We're going to make shirts that Yeah. There you go. There you go. That's fine. That's fine. Oh, I love my future wife. Yeah. That's my girl shows up. Hey, hey, I think that's me. In those pants. I'm your Delilah. No, I love your The last Source I'm pretty sure it was your I'm pretty sure it was Lindsay to the women. Yeah, and talking to the women about not having to put Right. Right. Emotionally, but also I love that because I think from mature women, right? I think it's a message like women and it's not to blame the women. We hold ourselves accountable, but women play a role in it for sure. Absolutely. Just yesterday, again, talking to our youth pastor, I was saying that, look, the reality is this if you're mature in your emotions, right? In spirituality, you can see Who is trying to expose. It's like, it's almost like the, It's like a young lady who didn't get the hug from their dad who was out here like, look at me. Mhm. You know what I mean? If you if you have the right eyes, you're seeing that reality, man. That's a broken person. Yeah. Who's crying for attention? But if I'm broken, I'm going to or the wrong DM. You know what I mean? Absolutely. But it's like, man, we need men to be healthy enough to see through that. But then the woman to be healthy enough to be like, man, I don't have to put myself out there, right? Because if I am, something is missing that's making me have to expose myself that way, that I shouldn't be exposed to my spouse. Absolutely. Listen, I'm a I'm a go garage Go for it. Right. Garage garage nights. We we kind of let loose a little But I was at a store recently around with their daughter and Mhm. I'm like, bro, that's your I'm like, I can't there's no way How does that happen? How were you at the store with Are you okay? And you see what she's wearing, Right. Like, and again, is it because I don't even know. There's. I think there's so many layers Right? But to me as a dad, I'm like, yo, how is this even happening right now? Right. Well, especially when you see a Right? Right. It's one thing to see these kids you're like, man, the dude was of the house that way. Yeah. That's where you're talking You talk about not being on point is like, man, are you that dumb? Are you that oblivious to what's is crying out for attention Mhm. Crazy. That's crazy. Crazy. I had a conversation with my because I go at five in the And I tell him, like, how broken you will dress that way at five You just woke up to go to the at five in the morning like, Yeah. That's commitment. Like, something's really got to be a little off for you to decide. You know, this is a great Yeah. But it cries out for emptiness, It does. It does. It has to be. Again, think about it. Right. Going back to the first chapter in the Bible, they were naked and unashamed. Mhm. Right. But the moment sin enter, they were like, covered up, trying to cover up. Right. You know, so it's in a way, it's that, right when you're empty. Mhm. It's like there's no shame, You know what I mean? Right. So it's like you're just putting like, there's no like reality of Because if I understand, I'm a Like I was joking, like, you can't be like, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made showing you, but you're supposed to be a temple of the Holy Spirit, right? Right. But if you truly understand your don't have to, right? Right. You don't have to, because the you for the right things, for You know what I mean? And I can appreciate you fully And that's what's going to last. Yeah, that's the commitment that's going to create a family and it's going to create, you know, uh, a legacy longevity for sure. Yeah. Right. And think about this, right? As dudes, right? Like what dude in their right mind want their girl to be out there, right? Heck no. Exposing themselves to Like, yeah, if you're a real Right. That's your girl, right? Right. Anyone that's doing that, the side too. Yeah, absolutely. So if you're the girl that thinks your dude is okay with that because he's got a few others and you're just one of them. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because that that blows my mind. Absolutely. I'm like, what? Dude in the right mind could be okay with their daughter showing their stuff. And if that you're my girl and, No, that's, I don't know. Heck, no. Not in this house. Yeah. Amen. We're harping on the ladies, Well, that's a whole that's a It's a five in the morning. What gym you go to, man. That's a whole nother podcast. You ever, you ever, like, be on a treadmill next to the dude who has booty shorts on short shorts. That's why I don't go to the I never, I never been to your I just, I just be careful in the know, they have different they Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't care. They don't stop to talk to you. Like not right now man. Not right now. We don't need this conversation Oh, boy. Oh. That's funny. Well, the kind of land, the plane, it's going to be hard to land a plane on this question, but what are the marks of a godly man? I mean, to me, it starts with One of the one of the the last chapter I just read on every man's battle talks about obedience versus excellence, and excellence compares in the natural right. So you're looking at like, oh, I'm, you know, at least I'm not this. Or if you're comparing, if I'm standard, I'm doing so much So excellence is great, by all Like, yeah, you're doing Yeah. Um, but obedience says, here's I would never arrive because You can arrive and then you can Yeah. Right. But obedience keeps me seeking. It keeps me growing. It keeps me humble. Yeah. It challenges me. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like it lets me know. Like without the father, without I'm going to jack this up. Okay. Um, so to me, that's that's my And, and again, that's my goal. And obviously, just like any hundred percent right. You know, we don't yeah, we get and we get punishment. We go on time out. Um, but that's, that's my number How can I just abide in him and That's good. I would go with a secure Mhm. Uh, to me personally, what I sound cliche because I'm a I love Jesus as a man. Mhm. Right. And the greatest thing that as a man that Jesus has done for me is secure me and my identity, that I don't have to prove myself. I don't have to try to flex. I don't have to try to be someone I'm not because I was a twenty year old that was very insecure. Mhm. You know, but coming into Christ and really know myself in him has freed me to just be me, you know? And there's something powerful Not in a weird way. Not in a prideful way. But you're like me. I like me. You know what I mean? And I don't have to go try to be To me, that secure identity is clutch because life is going to come. Things are going to hit you. You're gonna lose. You're gonna have ups and downs. But it's like I can still be Yeah, yeah. Through anything. And I'm not trying to prove one that gives me my worth. Right. I always like when I talk to a to bring this up to man because But when Jesus baptism is one of says to him, you're my son, in In other words, I'm proud of And he's saying that to him before he did anything, anything right. Because he's like, I'm You are my son, right? You know, to me, that secure Because no matter what's going back to that reality. Like, man, I'm secure in him. I'm good. I'm not trying to be something So yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's not easy, man. Yeah. Not easy because there's so many Yeah. And try to feed all these and all that, you know. So it's not one of those super Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would like, like, no, it's It's something you pray about, know, like again, even this Even this morning at forty it's like, no, like I go to him Yeah. Because I can't be a pastor if I'm not yet securing him as his child. You know what I mean? So it's ongoing. You know what I mean? You don't arrive, right? You know? That's good man. You can't be a good husband or a Anything. If that's not. It starts there, right? You can't get what you don't Yeah. If not, you can start Do one of these. Yeah. Like, you know, bashing your Look. Smashing. So this this is a selfish quote opinion on, because you both up to and that I want to emulate And it's from Erwin Raphael He says submission means to be If a man does not have a mission tall under, he shouldn't expect Mhm. Love it. Yeah. And I think a lot of women would You know, and I think that's one men is, um, we're just, we're A lot of men are just, you know, we work, we provide, but we come you know, like I'm doing my part There's, there's, there's a But what is the mission? You know, and I think, um, we don't, we don't, we don't stop to really consider that and challenge ourselves. Yeah. You know, we want, we don't want Hard gets hard. It's hard to do hard things all But hard. Overcoming endurance, it produces fruit, you know. So I think that's something, again, I that's one of the things I'm always trying to challenge. I, I challenge my kids all the They probably get sick of it, you know, but I, I feel like that's a season of my life I'm in to is trying to challenge men more. Yeah. Um, just like there's more for us fellas, you know, increase our mission and see how it affects you. See how your wife will look at You know what I mean? Like, see how it affects, you know, your kids, your everything. Yeah, everything. Um, so I think, you know, we Amen. That quote. Yeah. And I've been talking to dudes about the fact that marriage is a calling. Mhm. You have to see it as a calling to be under a mission, right? So if you if you don't have a going to be stale. You know it's going to be okay. You know what I mean? Anyone could do okay. You know what I mean? It doesn't take much to be But when you approach it as a with a calling man? You invest. Right? You know what I mean? I think it's the lack of That's good because that that invest in your marriage. You know what I mean? Like little things like we have, go back on date nights. Now the kids are older. You know what I mean? It's like reclaiming those. It's been so, so good to really like, hey, we're just going to Let's not talk about the kids. Let's not talk about ministry. We end up talking about the Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's been so cool just to You know what I mean? We were literally I literally Yeah. Just like, hey, let's just have something to talk about. You know what I mean? But those are investments. You know what I mean? That goes a long way. And and here's another. I want to give another, you know, key Pro tip here to dudes, it's like dudes love language is physical, right? It's like, oh, it's sex, right? But it's like, bro sex begins Yeah. You know what I mean? Invest in time with your spouse. Like, speak our love language. You know what I mean? My wife loves when I just sit I just have a conversation with Like sex begins in the kitchen, Not literally. Well, you know. You know what I mean? But you have to invest in. It has to be a calling. Yeah. You know what I mean? And. Oh, man, this is awesome. This is awesome. Oh thank you guys, I love you. This is some good stuff. Yeah. No, that was fun. That was fun. You know, I'm sorry. Brazil is average. Yeah. As soon as you said it, I was Like Brazil. We'll edit that out.